Four days ago, I attended a relative’s funeral … 😦
Five days ago, I attended her sister’s funeral … 😦 😦
I know this is life, but I felt God telling me “YOU NEED TO STOP AND THINK ABOUT YOUR OWN LIFE!!!“
How have I lived?
Not so good, I guess. But I said to myself it wasn’t as bad as St. Moses the black or the Thief on the cross, they repented and all sins were gone. So, have I repented? Yes? Was it real repentance? A repentance that would clean all my past and keep me from sinning in the future?
Have I done anything to be proud of?
Not just that I be proud of, but my parents to be proud of, my friends to be proud of, my God to be proud of? Were my 26 years useless?
Will I spend eternity with God in heaven?
Will my faith and works lead me to the place I want to end up in? Another question, do I really want to go there, or is it just the better of two bad options? I don’t want to be torchered for eternity, so at least in heaven it’s better! Will there ever be a day that I may share St. Paul the “desire to depart and be with Christ” (Philippians 1:23)?
Then came the big question, how will I spend the rest of my life?
I know the perfect answer!! Like what Deb mentioned in her poem, it would be “a time for mourning, staying at God’s side” … but not only mourning for those who have gone astray, but for myself, trying to live a life of repentance, and asking for God’s continuous forgiveness.
I know, I know .. This is the perfect answer! But again, we were called to live a perfect life (Matthew 5:48) .. why not try?!
Besides, I won’t be the first to try, David lived a life of repentance! Although God forgave David, he still said, “my sin is always before me” (Psalm 51:3)
Life is our chance for repentance!
An old Coptic monk was asked on his death bed, what he was asking God for, he replied back, “for one more day”, sarcastically he was asked back what will one extra day do, he answered “I’ll cry for my sins and repent, because my sins are many”.